Post-Vacation Spiral? Here’s the Reset That Actually Worked (Even Though It Didn’t Feel Like It)

Hi GoodHuman,

Well, my husband Danny and I just got back from a magical trip to Mallorca, Spain. My cousin—who’s basically a sister of mine—got married, and it was a dream wedding. Not only was it filled with family for four days, but the backdrop was the most gorgeous mountainous resort, complete with an infinity pool and cute little sheep. Cue the magic.

The first day in Spain was also my birthday—33. And so many wonderful things have come true since last year, the first of which is being here with you. I’ll share more about what this birthday brought in another post, because what I want to talk about today is something so completely obvious (but I’ve been missing it for YEARS), and I don’t want that for you—for either of us.

I bring up my birthday not to dive into the joy and lessons (yet), but because that first day in Spain, the birthday texts started flooding in. It was amazing—I felt so special! But I also had so much in front of me to be present for. Plus, Wi-Fi was hit or miss depending on the location—think hotels, airports, and coffee shops—and chasing Wi-Fi to stay connected just felt wrong.

So I made the decision to go “offline.” I detached from my phone, only bringing it out for pictures or saved spots on Google Maps. At first, I felt guilty not replying, but I knew I wanted to fully embrace both the messages and the world in front of me—and I couldn’t do both. So I chose the moment. 

I took those ten days to be “offline” and connect with the people I was with, the beautiful places we were in, and to fully relax in a way I hadn’t in a long time. And it was amazing.

But while that part was glorious and completely a choice I’d make again, coming home was hard.

I felt all the emotions at once—the busyness of the to-do lists, the texts I wanted to send, the organizing I needed to do before going back to work. I felt a lot. All the things I had intentionally let go of on vacation came rushing back the moment I stepped back into my routine.. and I could feel myself leaning towards my old habits of isolation, avoidance, and paralysis. 

I needed a reset.

My old reset routine? Self-destruct first, start over after. But in the two weeks since I’ve been back, I’ve used all my tools to feel like myself again: walking, journaling, working out, meditating, prioritizing sleep.

And if I’m being honest? Most days, it’s all felt like a checklist.
I’ve been in my head—low energy, blah, uninspired.
On my walks, all I could see were the negatives: cracked sidewalks, overgrown bushes, a heaviness I couldn’t shake.

It felt like my own mind was sabotaging the scenery I’d seen as beautiful just a month ago.
Talk about emotional whiplash.
My inner dialogue had a field day criticizing the difference.

My journal looked like this:
8/6/25 — Even with life on my own terms, unhappiness, dread, and paralysis finds me. 

Meditation? The best part was closing my eyes so I didn’t have to look at the chaos and unfinished house projects around me.

And honestly, if Danny hadn’t kept me accountable to get ready for bed, I would’ve binged Untamed on Netflix and woken up drowning in regret—either spiraling into self-hatred or swinging to the other extreme with rigid self-discipline to “make up for it.”

(Yep. That’s the self-destructive version of a reset I know way too well.)

Even with all this progress — our new home, full independence from the physical control my dad once had over my life — I still find myself here. Six weeks into freedom I fought five years to create… and I’m still angry. Still uncertain. Still battling lows I thought I’d outrun.

But that’s part of it too. Healing doesn’t always show up with smiles, motivation, or "best self" energy. Sometimes it looks like being trapped in negativity and numbness, but doing the reset anyway.

But with each small action, I know—deep down, even when I still feel numb, detached, or question whether I’ve made any progress at all—that I’m building momentum.

This kind of progress doesn’t feel inspiring.
It feels silent. Tedious. Sometimes empty.

Showing up when you don’t want to, when it doesn’t feel good, when there’s no high, no praise, no payoff?
That’s where the reset actually begins.

And here’s the part I’ve been missing all along:

Is this even working?

What’s the point of meditating for 10 minutes if I’m still ruminating on everything I haven’t done—then beating myself up for not having the motivation to do any of it?
If I still dread going to work where I have to prioritize others when I can barely care for myself?
If I’m still exhausted by things that used to feel good?

And yet…

It’s still better—so much better—than self-destructing and starting from zero. Again.

So if you’re coming off a break in your routine—a beach vacation, a Euro trip, or even just a quiet weekend at the lake—and your default move is to eat the worst thing in the fridge or DoorDash the greasiest option possible one last time, or binge three episodes (or more... let’s be real) while your “better self” mocks you from the back of your mind…

Don’t.

Seriously. Stop making pain a prerequisite for your progress. I've made this mistake for SO long. 

Instead, ask yourself:
Are you choosing habits that nourish you — or habits that numb you?

Because here’s the truth about resetting:
If you’re on the Becoming a BetterHuman journey, you won’t feel like yourself right away.
It’s uncomfortable.
It sucks.
You’ll want to bail.

But keep showing up.

Eventually, those small grounding habits will bring you back — and you’ll realize you didn’t lose yourself at all.

You proved to yourself you can come back without throwing yourself in the gutter first. That’s what Becoming a BetterHuman really looks like.

At least, that’s what my journey really looks like.

With love, 

Taryn

Thank you for being here in this deeply vulnerable space.
I hope my journey reminds you that you’re not alone in finding your way to a better you — or in navigating all the uncomfortable, real, totally normal human things that come with it.