My Shadow Is Not a Curse — It’s Part of My Journey: Embracing the Dark Side of Becoming a Better Human

Hi my GoodHuman ❤️,

It can be hard to address.
It can be hard to look at.
It can be hard to face.

The worst reality of yourself.
The saddest part of who you are.
The part you keep hidden, locked away, saving only the whispers of this deepest Self for the corners of your mind —
the whispers meant only for you,
that become louder on your worst days,
but you don’t dare speak out loud.

The whispers that tell you,
“You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve happiness. You can’t keep this ‘good’ life going.”
(At least, that’s what my whispers are.)

This is your shadow.
This is the most damaged,
the most hurt,
the most sensitive,
the most raw part of you.

The part of you that needs the most help.
And yet — we turn away.
We avoid.
We close the door.
We ignore.

And so, by looking the other way, we attempt to numb and soothe ourselves —
to manage the feelings, emotions, and physical sensations this shadow stirs within us—
but in doing so, we only drift further from the person we wish to become.

If only we didn’t look away.
If only we listened a little closer, without judgment.
If only we treated ourselves as we would a friend we love…
as a NormalHuman.

But instead, we decide we’re messed up,
we’re outcasts,
we’re the only ones who have ever felt guilt,
shame,
disappointment,
loneliness,
disapproval,
regret,
anger.

No other Human could possibly feel this messed up too…

But through the (slow) and at times, painful journey of becoming a BetterHuman,
the "soothing" habits start to feel like sabotage —
like punishing a little kid who deserves compassion
rather than being locked away and ignored.

When you decide to see your shadow,
to talk to it,
to listen to it,
you realize that even though you hold all those feelings, experiences, decisions inside of you…
you can still be a GoodHuman.
You can still love all the parts of you and work to show care, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness to all of YOU.

And with one decision,
you start choosing to treat yourself a little better,
to make a different decision,
to do things a little differently —
not because you want to be skinnier, healthier, prettier, richer,
but because you just want to be better,
kinder,
less reactive,
more understanding,
more patient,
less avoidant…
and less sad.

If you need courage to bring your shadow with us on this GoodHuman journey,
let me root for you.
Let me give you strength.
Let me give you the safety to know it’s okay —
we’re all Human —
and the only person who can choose if we become better is US.

All parts of us have to be on the journey together,
walking side by side,
to live the reality of life.

Because while we can surround ourselves with people who support us,
friends who encourage us,
words that inspire us,
NO ONE will give us all the love, support, and guidance
that our whole Self can.

As Mel Robbins says, "NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU."

So grab a journal and write to your shadow.
Write the words of your shadow.
And after a few days,
read and listen to your shadow,
so you can find space to process who those parts of you are,
what they feel,
and what they’ve experienced.

I love you, my GoodHuman.

And if you’ve read all the way through this,
I know it’s your shadow that’s keeping you curious —
because it wants to talk to you.
It can feel there’s a better version of you in this life,
waiting to live fully,
to be who you know you truly are,
unlocked from any box.

If you need a safe space to share,
DM me on Instagram at Good_Human_Design —
I’m here to listen if you need.

With acceptance and love,
Taryn